Is reconnection even possible after decades of unresolved trauma?

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There I am sitting on the couch in my therapist’s office bawling my eyes out. I don’t often let her see how much pain I’m in, mostly because my day is ruined once I give in to my inner despair.

This past Tuesday was the worst in a while, because last week, I was bitten on the leg by a dog while out delivering for one of my 1099 jobs. …

Why are so many people calling for the cancellation of all student loan debt, especially Neurodiverse people like me?

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As of this post, my federal student loan balance is $68,147 and because of my income and my family size (2), I’m on an income-based repayment plan and my payment per month is $0. The degree I managed to achieve? An A.S. in Accounting, in 2016. …

Especially during a worldwide pandemic with social distancing.

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I remember my first foray into MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online role-playing games, for those not familiar with the terminology).

After a long, boring work day in fast food, I walked home because at this point in my 19 years, I wasn’t driving yet. On the way home, I stopped at a store and remember picking up Guild Wars. I can’t really recall why I decided to start playing games again at this point; in my childhood, there’s some vague recollection of playing Nintendo games with my siblings.

Anyway, in my every day…

And this doesn’t mean I’m not listening.

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I never liked when someone told me to look them in the eye. For me, it wasn’t something I could handle and the whole situation caused me great anxiety.

For them, my refusal to do this often meant they thought I wasn’t listening, or I didn’t care, or worse, that I didn’t respect them.

None of that could be further from the truth.

There’s this general consensus that one must look someone in the eye and if they don’t, they are one of the above things. …

There are a few key differences you’ll want to keep in mind with your loved one.

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You might be wondering, if our needs aren’t that different from a relationship between two neurotypical people, why this article?

Good question. The answer is: while the below things are good to have in any relationship, it is about the nuance and differences among these topics for autistics.

Direct & Targeted Communication

Your autistic friend, family member, or partner will most likely have a preference for how they like to communicate.

Autistics can range from being non-verbal to a little verbal to verbose. Some are verbal all the…

Or any other part of them... and Aphantasia is to blame.

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“Why do you always take so many pictures?”

This wasn’t the first time I’ve been asked that question nor would it be the last.

I used to answer that I simply liked having pictures. Proof of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and who I’ve spent time with. Visual reminders I could look at any time and use to recall my favorite places or people. It was true; I just didn’t know the reason why these were more important to me than other people.

Why having photos of people…

And our relationship paid the price.

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Whenever an opportunity came up for my mother to disparage my father, she would call him a loser, an alcoholic, and a bastard. She was 17 when I was born; he was 22. She told me that when I was 7 months old, she came home and caught him having sex with her best friend. Also that at one point he held her against the wall, choking her.

They were divorced by the time I was 2 and any time I look back at growing up, I can say with certainty I felt like…

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As an autistic person who wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood, I’m able to look back at my past relationships and see all the ways both my partner and I failed to understand and connect.

One of the main faults were my need to know what would happen between us most of the time. Of course, relationships aren’t linear nor do they ever go the way we expect or want them to. Mix my autism with complex PTSD, anxiety, and a fear of abandonment, and you get a female with a need for consistent and (sometimes constant) communication.

I’ve learned throughout the…

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I told my friends and family months ago, on Pride Day, that I am interested in women. The funniest response was from my youngest sister, who simply said, “Yeah, and?” I appreciated their complete acceptance of what I said because this realization of mine came after thinking over my history and talking in therapy. I have a complicated history and my “not knowing” stems from stuff I won’t get into here.

So I started trying to find a woman to talk with and eventually meet. COVID has certainly made that harder. …

One of the best times my son and I have together is when we watch a movie together. We sit on the couch and have a huge bowl of popcorn. Spending this time together has become precious, not only because my son is already 11 and has his own interests, but because the way we relate to each other during the movie amuses me.

My son is the kind of person so far who makes comments during the movie to those he’s sitting close to. Apparently, he gets this from me, although he had mostly stopped when we went to…

Kitty J

Autistic Woman. Mother. Romance writer. Abuse Survivor. Dealing w/cPTSD, hEDS & POTS. Always learning & questioning. A quiet human slowly reparenting herself.

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